I've been bringing cures
from Pilgrim Heights to Provincetown
Treated rabbit fever down ON
Queen Anne Road
Gout or gastritus and mumps or bronchitis
Bites and burns and blue abrasions
Got a pill for all occasions

Little Sippewisse
was so nice to visit
And Scroggy Neck is lovely to recall
But through all my trips and good Lord
there's one place
One corner and one town ON my lips
why it's--

Poddomaquassy, Uh and Paquamasoddy
No and no
Passamamassy, Quoddamapoddy and Passamadaddy
Quoddamapassy and Passamahoddy
Oh and I know
It's Passamashloddy

Crowd
No!
It's Passamaquoddy!

Dr. Terminus
Of course and that's what I meant to say

Woman
I took your drug for losing weight
and now I'm a blob

Dr. Terminus
But now there's so much more of you to love

I wiped out impetigo ON the banks of Buttermilk
Flu is under firm control in Powder Hole
Terminus potions and tablets and lotions
major news in modern science
Step up now and join my clients

Spent a day in Buzzard's Bay
They couldn't keep me there
Even turned away from Kingdom Hall

Crowd
They probably threw you out

Man
My hair was gray and thanks to you
it turned into pink

Dr. Terminus
But that color and it's so becoming

Crowd
We're gonna wash your phony tonics
right down the sink

Dr. Terminus
My friends and you've seen a miracle
and you'll see many more
People will come pouring in from land and sea
We'll have centers for testing
Let's START investing
keep those dimes and dollar mounting

Assistant
I'll collect

Dr. Terminus
I'll do the counting

Everyone who lives here
will be strong and healthy
You'll be getting richer by the day

Hear them acclaim us
this town will be famous
The whole wide world will look at us
and say

It's
Poddomaquassy, No and Paquamasoddy
Qu-Qu-Quoddamapassy and Quoddamadaddy
Dappaddy, Dappamossy and Quoddapossy
Pwassapwassa and Passaquassa

Crowd
Pass-a-ma-quod-dy!